Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Can This Marriage Be Saved?
I bought a book the other day, a veritable bargain at two dollars (hardcover), the premise of which is that Americans are taught to work at love, that this work ethic destroys the very essence of the thing itself, and that marriage is a doomed prison, the opiate of the coupled masses. I'm not going to rant and rave about marriage and prisons (it's too early and too hot to have been drinking -- readers, fear not, the air-conditioner has been restored and I won't be stabbing myself now, a real consideration less than an hour ago when I was yelling to my companions, It's as hot as a chicken box! We're all going to broil like chickens!), but I did find the idea of working at love as anathema to it as thought-provoking. I work at almost everything in life -- nothing comes all that naturally to me except complaining, sitting on my ass, and spending money. I work out, work at teaching, work on my writing, and so on. I work myself into a tizzy and that's before I make it out the door each morning.
The debate about whether one can work at love reminds me of whether or not writing can be taught. I suppose what I would say is this -- confidence can be taught, strategy can be taught. Thank God some things can be learned! But desire can't be taught, not in love and not in writing and not by fricking Dr. Phil or Can This Marriage Be Saved? And desire it tough because although I may desire to write a story, that initial excitement is replaced with a deep horror when I understand how hard it will be to make a reader to understand another world. And I suppose that's the case with love as well. So we build our worlds, such as they are, and we try to make it work. Or not. Some are merely castles by the sea that come down with the first wave or a date at Red Lobster with some truly wretched teenage pranksters at the next table, making fun of your date's outfit. Which is not to your liking, not really, no matter how much you try and let it go and make it work.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"There are two ways to live your life -- one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein
Drinking movie suggestion: Loverboy
Benedictions and Maledictions