Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Future's Uncertain and the End Is Always Near

When I was in high school, there was a weird little dude who used to get tanked up on nobody knows what and hit the Jack in the Box and the Sonic in various states of inebriation, stand on the tables, and yell, I am the fucking Lizard King. This sad homage to Jim Morrison would continue until one of the teenagers behind the counter called Johnny Law to take him out. The Lizard King of Mineral Wells was no Morrison -- instead of the leather pants, he had some ripped up Toughskins (harder to get the chicks with that look!) and a complexion that resembled the surface of the moon from a bad case of cystic acne. Sometimes he'd go shirtless, but it wasn't the real Lizard King's shirtless, it was more like I'm auditioning for an extra in the concentration camp scenes shirtless. I'd hang out at these places myself on weekend nights -- Sonic being the home of tater tots and all things good and holy and Jack in the Box was a place of intrigue ever since a high school girl shot another girl in the foot with her daddy's rifle in their bathroom. Such were the days of our lives.

I kind of wished the Lizard King wasn't so touched and could include some Morrison lyrics in his performance to make it a little zippier. Lots of kids in high school had the paperback that listed every Doors song and it was guarded with the kind of attention one might reserve for a first edition Blake or at least the good sex scenes in The Godfather. I never got into The Doors with the kind of love that I had for, say, Bobby Dylan or the Gap Band. There were songs, though, that worked in a hypnotic way and lyrics that you didn't have to have the book to know -- the future's uncertain and the end is always near. The valedictorian of our class quoted that at graduation which thrilled me a thousand times more than some inspirational card shit might. When the mysterious tarot reader in the picture approached me in a bar, I thought of the lyric and said, why not? He asked no questions, there was no small talk, save for asking my name. He read the cards in a lovely mild Russian accent, and I was floored at the accuracy. After the reading, my mind drifted back to those long ago days when "Twin Peaks" was on television. I felt as if I'd stepped into the show. Would the Lizard King appear, twenty years older, two thousand miles from my hometown? I was beginning to think he might.

Michelle's Spell of the Day

"Come away with me and we will live on a desert island, he said./ I said, I am a desert island." Margaret Atwood

Drinking Music Selection for the Day: Say It Live and Loud, Live In Dallas -- James Brown

Benedictions and Maledictions

In answer to Trouble Man's flower question:

First, I never think flowers are cliche. I love flowers and most (not all, but most) women I know do as well. Even if the woman you're sending them to doesn't love them, she'll appreciate the gesture and let you know what she prefers in the future. But for the sake of argument, let's say she loves flowers. What kind of flowers should you send? I'll say right off that there is no bad flower. I've never received an arrangement that I didn't love. But some people are pickier so you should try to cater the flowers to the woman's personality. Roses are beautiful (some of them don't last long) and classic -- red is the symbol of love. I adore roses given that they are also related to St. Theresa, the Little Flower, but some people might feel red roses are too intense early on so you might go with another color -- yellow for friendship, purple for love at first sight, salmon for respect, pink for infatuation. I'm also a fan of roses so red they look black -- this type is called Midnight Magic. If the woman in question is more unusual, you might go for another flower -- orchids are gorgeous (and expensive), a lily arrangement is beautiful and tends to last longer than other flowers, tulips are very spring-like and innocent, daisies are very youthful and lovely. Some people would say to stay clear of carnations (the "filler" flower) and mums (too funeral-like). I like both those flowers, but I see the sense of that advice. My feeling is that whatever you send will be happily received. I send my friends flowers for birthdays and sometimes just because if I know they like them, and they always seem to arrive when the person needs them the most. I credit St. Theresa for that phenomenon. If anybody wants to add more on this subject on the comment boards, please feel free!

21 comments:

Anomaly said...

There's definitely something magical about the way flowers tend to show up at the most dramatic moments in our lives. Usually this is a good thing, though there's always that vanishingly small chance they'll wind up showing at the least helpful time ever.

But then that's why it's sometimes good to bring them yourself - 'just because' if nothing else.

I don't really have much to add to Michelle's take on the different kinds of flowers, so I'll just tack on a bit from my angle. Everyone has their own personal taste in flowers (but don't worry, even if they're not her favourite she'll be touched you thought of it) - but variety is good too. Unless they're her absolute favourites (in which case stick with them, great choice) I'd say try a different type of flower each time - if you were going to go with flowers a second time I mean.

But I digress.

Other thing is quantity - I'd steer away from the huge bunches, stick to the more slender, focused ones. I don't know, I guess it just seems a little more elegant. But maybe that's just me :)

Just my two cents,

Anomaly

Sheila said...

I like the picture. I tried to give myself a tarot reading once and looked up on the internet how to deal the celtic cross.... but after I did it I realized that I forgot to look up what the cards meant... oops! Like the post today

Anonymous said...

Today's "Quote of the Day": You slut!--Bill Murray in "Tootsie"

Anonymous said...

Hey, snake, what did you do with Larry and Moe?

Anonymous said...

Vegemite sandwich.

Anonymous said...

Leather pants? Oh my God. Why didn't I think of it before? Ugis Pinka is the Jim Morrison of Macomb! Aren't epiphanies great!

paul said...

O Cajun Queen, I woke up this mornoing n got myself a beer. Foxy shot next to the giant. Ashen lady, ashen lady Give up your vows, give up your vows
Save our city, save our city
Ah, right now
D really needs you Mighty Isis R2 C2! Shazam!!!

Anonymous said...

Is that the 6'2'', 300 lb. Jam guy? Even if it isn't, I'm a big fan of foreshadowing.

Anonymous said...

Padre Pio was canonized by the patriarchal head of the Catholic Church, John Paul II. How unironic.

Wichita-Lineman said...

Who doesn’t love those cheap hamburger stands after a night of drinking. The mouth practically becomes a vacuum. I love White Castle, even if they do put a chemical in it that kills a man’s sperm.

Anonymous said...

Headline in today's Detroit News: Accused polygamist pleads guilty; sentencing scheduled. Mount Clemens--A woman police say married and scammed up to 15 men pleaded guilty today in Macomb Circuit Court to felony polygamy charges.### (The article doesn't say if any of her husbands were sending her forget-me-nots.)

Anonymous said...

Forget White Castle. The Burger King Quadruple Stack is where it's at. Credit cards accepted.

John Ricci said...

That is some shot not ever to be forgotten ever. Lovely post, as always. Bravo, Miss Brooks! I am glad to know you are a romantic at heart about flowers. Hope does spring eternal for this admirer.

trouble man said...

Dear Michellespells --
Thank you for the very helpful tips on flowers and meanings. IOU. My new GF benefits from your advice and doesn't even know.

R's Musings said...

"Self-righteousness is the most shameless slut of all." --Mason Cooley

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

I really enjoy the way your blog is themed, organized, and -- can't help myself, branded. It's literate and literary but downhome. in my book, can't beat that. A comment on the flowers: I consider myself masculine and agree flowers speak volumes. funny you should expound about roses. My wife and I and our daughter took a walk through a mythical rose garden tonight right next to Syracuse University. Every hue, every shade, every fragrance or lack of fragrance. Hybrids dating to the early 1800s. Not at all very far from where your beloved Raymond Carver and his Tess had lived. (I once had an ex-girlfriend co-worker give me flowers on my last day on the job (alstromeria). I myself have great preference for simple collections of wildflowers. Nothing beats a single cornflower at this time of year. Is there a bluer blue?

JR's Thumbprints said...

Brings back memories of my highschool classmate who ate poison ivy to build up his immunity. He'd have blistering soars all over his mouth and lips.
He was definitely not a Lizard King. Love The Doors music. --Jim

Anonymous said...

I agree, Michelle. Anomaly has a very nice voice. And a very easy- going, casual style to boot.

Anonymous said...

She is very pretty, too.

Anonymous said...

Are you seeing anyone, anomaly?

Jamie said...

Love your blog Michelle... I've been reading it for a while, ever since I found the link from Erik's Choice.
Keep up the good work!