Monday, September 21, 2009


I used to make my students write personal ads as an exercise in audience. Let's face it; there are so many ways to go wrong despite the obvious meeting a psycho and having him hack you to bits. This happened to someone I know. Seriously. Back in the days before the internet, when the newspaper was the only venue for optimistic lonely hearts. I knew it was coming when he gave her a clown doll for her birthday. Note to men; no woman wants a clown doll ever. Anyway, let's say you don't have this fate in store. Even so, it's difficult. How to present yourself in words? To make yourself sound cool and not well, douche-like. This is the writing of champions.

I've never done it myself, looked for someone in a sphere that wasn't physical so I can imagine the challenge. A quick glance in this week's paper gives me a lot of material. My personal favorite -- a man who describes himself as having "beautiful black feathered hair." Okay, I automatically think about this man whose ad is pretty generic (no smokers, no drug addicts, no drama (this one always mystified me because what is a relationship if not a little bit dramatic?) with his feathered hair. It makes me instantly sad because I imagine a woman he loved once told him this (probably circa 1985) and he's remembered it to this day. We imagine ourselves through the scrim of love, write it out, however dated and lost it might be, the forms changing over time, but never enough to make a difference.

Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I love this mansion, though it is too many windows open halfway each morning close halfway each night."
— Jim Carroll

Cocktail Hour
Drinking snack suggestion: Will have pictures of drinking snacks posted on Friday!

Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Monday!


boneman said...

well, then I'm in trouble.
No...I didn't give anyone a clown doll.
But I am a clown (albeit not always funny...I try to be) and I want to be her's....
have I erred?
And, what the heck do I think? That you're the reincarnation of Abby?


Charles Gramlich said...

The closest I've gotten to a clown doll is a toy orangutan.

Heff said...

I always prefer to BE the clown.

chris said...

Clown doll ? Who the F##k thought of that one ? Watching the late nite HBO programs I never really gave clowns very much though unitl I saw them featured on Real Sex. Some freaky Mothers they are.

Judging from the Pic you posted. You heven't gone bad have you ?

Hope you had a great weekend.

chris said...

I wish I could edit my mispelled words,Aghhhhhh . I guess you would not want me to be a proff reader.

Jason said...

God, I would have loved that assignment.

RE: Chris! I've seen that episode of Real Sex too. Clown fucking has scarred me for life.

RRN said...

Man seeking a REAL woman who will give him clown dolls. Call me at my home number. (The more feathered the hair the better. )

the walking man said...

Older fat man who has never had the word gentleman applied to his person seeking no one not of similar approbation. Clowns killed and eaten.

jodi said...

Darling, I love to imagine myself thru the scrim of love. Makes all things forgiveable. I, too, abhor all things clown--almost as much as feathered hair! However, your hair looks great. love and kisses.