"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." - Dean Martin
This is a picture of me putting ice into a cocktail shaker, one of my favorite activities as it requires very little skill. I'm all for things that require almost no talent. When I was a little girl, I endured a year of Girl Scouts only to be kicked out for two reasons -- I was unable to tie a knot (a vital skill in the races to get badges and win competitions -- why this meant so much, God only knows) and being obsessed with death. This obsession manifested itself in many ways, mostly involving me talking about burial places (as in, "That would be a great place to be buried."), my feelings about not wanting a coffin, and asking the other little girls where they might want to be buried. These activities were frowned upon. I didn't mind being forced out -- I had only earned a whopping two badges during my tenure, one for reading, the other for starting fires. I barely even got a Cookie Round-Up badge, the one that the leaders were forced to give everyone because I had sold so few cookies. So it was all kind of a bust, but I still read all the time and it's always good to know how to start a fire.
Something To Do In Bed
3 parts champagne (mid-range is fine for this cocktail)
1 part X-Rated Vodka (this vodka is pink and flavored with passion fruit -- it has a very distinctive taste, much like the best candy in the world)
I would recommend freezing the vodka before using it -- it will achieve the texture of a slushee and work well with the champagne
This is a very festive drink and packs a happy punch, perfect for seductions. For your listening pleasure I'd recommend something romantic and sad -- Etta James would be just the thing. Preferably late on a Sunday afternoon when you're supposed to be doing laundry or something truly productive.
Benedictions and Maledictions
"That is the way with amputations. They don't just heal up like a wish." Anne Sexton
Forthcoming in Raintown Review
Make Yourself Small
God will come in later, of this I feel certain.
Let’s consider the nurse Richard Speck
didn’t kill, the one that he bound who still
managed to hide under a bed, only to find
all the others stabbed in the eyes and breasts.
You wanted details, right? Hide under
whatever you can find, make yourself small.
Everyone finds something horrible in time.
Best to close your eyes. Keep them closed.