One of my favorite Onion headlines has to do with Valentine's Day -- Partner's Same Apalling Body Shoved Into Skimpy New Underwear. Today Nike debuted an ad with Tiger Woods where his dead father has a voice-over while a picture of Tiger looking remorseful flashes on the screen. I took pause -- this seems really creepy to me. To me, people. Tiger's father is saying all sorts of things about why, why, why to an unseen interviewer. We never get the context, but no matter. We supply it. Why, Tiger, did you fuck up your career, dead daddy is saying. Just tell me; I'll understand. Okay. Tiger doesn't speak and the familiar Nike swoosh appears.
The second car I ever owned came with a dying alternator and a Nike bumpersticker that said, Just Do It. I hate bumperstickers for some reason and tried and tried to get this one off, but couldn't. It seemed I was destined to drive around in a shitty car imploring me and everyone on the road to Just Do It! But what? I suppose it's an injunction against paralysis by analysis. Some people can live their whole lives in quiet desperation. But is Nike really trying to sell me shoes based on remorse for Tiger having just done it, a lot of it, in fact? I suppose so. Tiger didn't lose his contract with Nike, but he has to take this public scolding from his dead father. Worth it? God, let's hope it is to him. Same body, different lingerie.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"A penumbra of somber dignity has descended over his reputation." James Atlas
Cocktail Hour
Drinking memoir suggestion: Happy Alex Lemon
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Thursday!
11 comments:
Tiger Woods lost his Gatorade endorsement deal. To many, he's no longer a thirst quencher.--Ben Hogan
I would've done the same thing and I'd never go to sex clinic.--John Daly
I feel sorry for Tiger. He's so handsome.--Michelle Wi
There's a lot of temptation out on the tour.--Fred Couples
Let's just wait and see how Tiger does going forward this week at the Masters.--Julius Boros
But is Nike really trying to sell me shoes based on remorse for Tiger having just done it, a lot of it, in fact...ha ha ha ha ha ha If I am going to buy Chinese made shoes anyway I certainly am not going to pay an extra $150 for a screen printed boomerang logo.
Swooooooooooooosh.--Nike
And they called it puppy love!!--Frank Perez
That commercial just sounds pathetic to me. Man, I hate the world we live in sometimes.
His Gatorade contract took the opposite approach and said "Just Screw It", not that losing that will hurt him very much.
Bella, Saw the ad and agree on it's creepiness. I was wondering how Nike would handle it--and I think it's poor. I wear Nike's only because I have AA narrow heels and they are the only tennis shoes that do not blister me. However, I like you, prefer the HEELS!!!
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