I know someone who has twin sons; he says every day is like Groundhog Day -- get up, feed the babies, change the babies, go to work, come home, feed the babies, change the babies . . . I don't have this kind of life. But I do have my own personal Groundhog Day tropes, as if I'm stuck in some kind of godforsaken Kafka story where I hear things at the worst possible times, things I have heard before, things that hurt my feelings and bother me. Stuck in Mobile with the Memphis blues kind of feeling. Lonely, hurt, and put upon. The things are never going to fucking change blues. Things I would think were funny if I was in a better mood zone.
But this kind of torment can also lead to a strange liberation. Some situations don't change. Which is kind of great if you change your perspective. Make no mistake; I'm not Pollyanna, even if she is the source of my favorite joke (What's on Pollyanna's tombstone? I'm glad I'm dead!). But my new mantra of liberation seems to be It's not my problem. So much isn't under my control even when I want to make everyone happy which is kind of the source of most of the aforementioned blues. I can try; sometimes I make situations better, sometimes worse. I can listen and I can respond. I always joke about the line the bar owner says in Carver's "Vitamins": "Everybody be happy, that's my motto." And by and large, it is. But I won't go an early grave because of it. Groundhog Day or no, winter is over.
Michelle's Spell of the Day
"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." Rosa Parks
Cocktail Hour
Drinking suggestion: Video tomorrow -- I'm thinking of doing a wedding cake martini. Any other suggestions?
Benedictions and Maledictions
Happy Thursday! Still working on all the e-mails and playing catch up from recent sickness, ennui, and despair. Ha! Seriously, I should be caught up on everything by Sunday. Thanks for all the great comments and support during my final push to get Screen Test finished. I'm ready to get back to life pre-surgery, post-book.
9 comments:
I don't know, this is something along the lines of what I've been feeling lately. Though my own malaise is somewhat different.
This post reminds me of living in Toronto back in 2000. My roommate was very excited that we were all so broke all the time. I was like, "Are you kidding me???"
I could use a drink.--R. Nardelli
And now my child you are a true daughter of Detroit for you have learned the meaning of the subtle saying...
"fuck 'em"
Michelle,
I know what you mean, I guess...I've been in sort of a cloud, as it were, for a while now, and all the bad luck I've had does have something to do with it, but I guess there's more underneath...what, I'm not sure. However, I'm trying not to be too down about it, and move on.
Take care, and have a good weekend!
I'm ever so glad for Walking Man because he pointed me in this direction. Astounding words, and astounding photos, too.
Auto-biographies are delicious at times, even the ones hidden or woven with fantasy. Lord of the Rings, Musashi, Taiko, others....
Your photography seems a great example of auto-biography.
I'll guess you have other photos, too. I'll bet they are phenomenal.
City. Life. Well, enough smoke up your butt, eh. I needed the spell you casted out here, and I shall gather it and run for Indiana, again.
I've paintings and other things to deal with.
Really cool photos, though.
Dang!
oh..I forgot to ask, and while it may sound goofy to do so, I'de rather know up front....
Is it OK to come by, again?
Hunbun, what makes you think you have to/need to take on everyone else's problems on your 'tiny' shoulders? Let go of the control thing, Girl. Champagne, chocolate, and C'est La Vie--works for me! xoxo
Oh, one more thing.. I had a wedding cake martini once and it was delicioso! Yes, I need a video to show me it. I hope its the one that tastes like WHITE wedding cake! Thanks, Doll. (Also a friend makes the PERFECT summer concoction. I will get you the recipe and maybe you can video it!)
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